At the beginning of the year, I got myself a Happiness Planner and I was so determined to make 2016 a good year, that I was going to make many memories and plan on doing some things with my life, and although that did happen to a degree, there was just a certain point in the year where things just went downhill, to the point where I just felt like giving up, just lost motivation to keep trying to make it a good year. But I wanted to put a little review in writing, so that I can look back on this and see how 2016 was for me but also share this with you. It's a long one so get a tea (or whatever beverage you want) and get comfy.
January seemed to start off pretty okay, was meeting friends, keeping up with my Teatox, losing a bit of weight but the good feeling didn't last long as my job started to already become stressful, something I wanted to avoid, especially so early on in the year and I had a further health issue. But that wasn't going to be something too dwell on too much and just got on with it. This was also when I started the contraceptive injection as I could no longer be on the pill.
February took it's toll and again, my job was becoming a bit of a handful for me to deal with but it got better towards the end as I spent some time with my mum, celebrated her birthday and treated her, as I don't see her as often as I wished, spent Valentine's Day with my boyfriend and enjoyed some cheeky little date nights. So, I've already noticed that I would have a mixture of good and bad patches in each month.
When it reached March and being the month of my birthday, again, there was the good patch, where I just felt so happy and being gifted with a Mac from my boyfriend and getting me a really nice birthday cake, taking me to breakfast and dinner. It was the first day in a long time that I felt so content but then, bad patch came round and it was work related. I think this was the point where I knew I needed to do something about that because every month so far, I always had a bad patch, which related to work.
April was a very mixed month. The stresses weren't actually work related. If anything, my job was pretty good this month but my relationship got a little rocky and although there were many tears (all from me), it was all fixed in the end and we had a lovely little holiday together in Cornwall, which was so much fun and much needed. I also spent time with friends, celebrated birthdays, went to Go Ape and all sorts. April was the month where I had so much fun and was the best one I had all of 2016.
May came around, started to bring some nice weather so I had a few BBQ's but I also had a bit of a health kick and lost a tiny bit of weight, something that I still had on my 2016 goals. I also stopped my Warfarin medication which I had been on for 6 months due to the blood clots I developed late 2015, but had to wait atleast a month to see if I was able to stay off them, so that was quite an anxious wait. My boyfriend and I went to view a house, as we would like to own one. Although we probably would just have enough money for the deposit and monthly outgoings, we just didn't feel like we'd be comfortable enough to live each month so it was the only house we went to view but the experience was really good. I had to make some decisions in terms of my job because, even though it had been okay for atleast 2 months, I had to think more long term.
June was another good month, where I spent some quality time with people, went swimming a lot with my friend, but did have a hospital visit which turned out to be fine, still had the wait to see if no longer had to be on Warfarin but I think June was another chilled month. Oh and it was announced that we'd be leaving the EU. That wasn't great.
Now more than halfway into the year, July showed that things seemed to be getting better. I found out that I didn't have to be on Warfarin anymore, which was such a relief. It meant that I could be a bit more normal again. I spent a weekend doing activities with friends, such as car boot, an escape room, trampolining, laser quest, but work started to get a little stressful again, to the point where I got quite emotional but luckily, I had some time off just after, so I was able to mentally rest for a few days.
August I think was when things started to take a turn for the worse. I had to do things I didn't want to do (which I know sounds selfish but you'd have to have been there to understand), it picked up a bit because it was my boyfriends birthday and we went kayaking, went to another escape room and went to the casino. But again, quickly turned bad, where I was in floods of tears, saying that I was actually unhappy with myself, how I hadn't really lost much weight, if anything, I had put more on, I wasn't happy within my job anymore and after saying all of this, it was a real eye opener for me, that I had to start looking after myself. It was such a sad point in my life but my boyfriend was very supportive and said he would help me. So we went out walking in the evenings a few times a week, every little bit helps. I also spent time with friends again, for birthday celebrations, told them how I was feeling but it was nice to let all of it out.
September. It started off really lovely, as my friends sent me little messages to cheer me up after hearing how much of a hard time I had in the past few weeks, which really lifted up my spirit. But, it came crashing down on me. I found out that my Nan was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't believe it and just didn't know what to do with myself. I really wanted to see her, but she was down in Cornwall and had no real way of getting down there so suddenly. Luckily, my boyfriend managed to get time off work, as did I so we travelled down the same night, just so that I could see her, after hearing the news. Although it's an awful thing, luckily it's in an early stage, so she'll be having surgery and radiotherapy soon. After seeing family and telling them how things have been, I decided to hand in my notice at work. It was something that was make me unhappy and wasn't helping me feel better about myself. Immediately, I already felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders, knowing that there was going to be an end. I spent more time with friends again, something I love doing on a regular basis, as we always found it hard to see each other as we were always busy.
October was quite a steady month, where nothing really seemed to happen. I went Go-Karting, went to Sketch in London for a friends birthday so although I had some fun experiences, I had a few down days but nothing serious enough that it made me breakdown. I managed to get some inspiration and did quite a few blog posts in quick succession, which made me happy. I love October mainly because it's when Autumn really hits, where all the leaves start falling off the trees.
November I consider the month that did it for me, where I just didn't want 2016 anymore. It started off so amazingly, as my boyfriend and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary and he surprised me with roses to work (yes, I was still there as I had a three month notice period). I also met up with an old colleague for some drinks, saw my Nan again and played bingo with her, celebrated my cousins birthday, saw my friends again and had a cosy night in with homemade paella, movies and wine. But then, I started to get ill. It started off as a migraine, then an aching body but after being off work for a few days, although I felt crappy, I went in, but started to develop a real bad cough. I spent the weekend with some friends, doing a game jam (where you try and develop a game in a weekend) but on the Sunday, I just felt so awful. I went to work on the Monday, coughing like crazy and people questioned why I even went in but Tuesday hit me and I just couldn't do it. I then didn't go in for the rest of the week but because the cough didn't go, I went to the the doctors to see if I had a chest infection. Although I didn't, the doctor was concerned as my heart rate was high and based on my history with P.E, he wanted me to go to the hospital go get checked out, as he was worried I might have developed the clots again. I was at the hospital for hours, had blood tests, scans, the usual and a blood test came back positive, which wasn't a good sign so they wanted me to go back on the Monday so I could have a CT scan so they could check my blood flow and see if there were any blockages. Later that evening, I found out that my baby cat (only 2 years old) was hit and killed by a car in a instant. I was heartbroken and we buried her in my garden. I think this was the day that I just didn't want to do 2016 anymore. I didn't want to play this game called life. As sad as I still was, I went and had my scan and they said that I didn't have any clots forming, so that was the plus out of all of this.
When we hit December, I was quite glad, as this was the last month, and be able to finally say goodbye to 2016. It started off fairly straight forward. My last day was approaching so had to start getting that all finished off, I had my Christmas party, got very drunk and emotional but I had a great time. My final day at work arrived and it was quite sad, as I was going to miss the people close to me the most, but I couldn't wait to have some chill time and spend it with my boyfriend, who also had time off too. I started gearing up for Christmas, buying presents, met up with friends for our annual Christmas get-together and enjoying some well-deserved time off. Christmas approached pretty quickly and suddenly it was over and done with but enjoyed the time I spent with my family.
I'm now sitting here on the 31st December, finishing up this post and when I read back on it, 2016 was quite a mixed bag of emotions. So yes, I do want to give it a bit of an 'F you', but I don't want that to stop me for the next year. I will keep on trying and if 2017 turns out to be another bad year, then I'll just try again in 2018. There are going to be segments in life where things just don't go to plan and that is okay but just know that things will get better in the end. I do have plans for 2017, something that will be written up in a separate post. I do look back and think I shouldn't have let certain times get to me the way they did, but I'm human and in that moment, you just have to let it all out.
It's been an emotional year, with good and bad times, doing lots of activities and spending more time with friends, but I'm glad to see the back of it.
2016, over and out.
Look after yourself,
This blog post is not sponsored and all opinions are my own and honest!
Hi Annabelle! Saw your post on twitter... I hear you, 2016 had many ups and downs for me too! December especially-- but here's to the new. And it'll be what we make it :) Take care-- blessings to you and big prayers for your Nan! Hope she is doing better!
Thank you for reading my post, it means a lot. Yes 2016 was a bit poopy but I;m really hoping 2017 will be better for me. Thank you for the well wishes for my Nan, she's doing pretty okay at the moment :)
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Hi Annabelle! Saw your post on twitter... I hear you, 2016 had many ups and downs for me too! December especially-- but here's to the new. And it'll be what we make it :) Take care-- blessings to you and big prayers for your Nan! Hope she is doing better!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my post, it means a lot. Yes 2016 was a bit poopy but I;m really hoping 2017 will be better for me. Thank you for the well wishes for my Nan, she's doing pretty okay at the moment :)
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